Friday, July 1

Change in Plans

Okay so June was a bad month for posting here--sorry about that :(  However, it was mostly due to the fact that I was making some big decisions.  Like deciding to live with mom and dad (and Katie).

When I bought my home I was okay with the payments because I thought eventually Prince Charming has to come by at some point and we'd have our fairy tale wedding and then start a family.  So the payment and household bills wouldn't be bad at all to share with someone.  But darned if he hasn't shown up, nor have I won the lottery.  I know that if I wait for everything to be just so I may end up never having children because the day will never come.  I do want to know that I can comfortably raise my child and even get to indulge myself with vacations with my children.  It would also be nice raising them around family and other adults other than just myself.  We've all talked about it and decided that it would be a nice arrangement.  Right now we're just working out where we will live.  It will definitely be an adjustment, but a journey we are looking forward to taking together.

Another aspect that I had to truly look at was adoption.  There are just some things that would potentially change for me that would make me ineligible for adopting from China at the present time.  However, that would take me back to my original Plan B-having bio children.  It would be nice knowing that I could better afford monthly attempts of IUIs.  It would be nice knowing that there would be someone else present in the home if/when I'm pregnant, especially towards the end of the pregnancy.  It would be nice to know that are people in that home who would lovingly look after my child if I needed them to.  It's nice to know that these people are well aware that a newborn will cry at whatever time and that they love us enough to still want to live with us.  It is nice to think that I can raise my child by myself, but that they will still have built in friends and guidance.  It's nice to think that even if they do not start out with a Daddy in their family, they will start out in a mulit-generational family living situation.  It will be nice to know that I can help mom and dad out as well.  It's wonderful to think that if things go according to plan (uh-oh there's that word that doesn't always seem to work out for me ;) ) then I could start as soon as January of 2012 to start my own branch of the family tree.  That part excites me so!

So who knows where this blog will be going over the next month(s).  I will continue praying and talking with God about everything and I hope you will continue to follow along my crazy adventure :)