Tuesday, May 14

The Road So Far . . .

(imagine the song "Carry On My Wayward Son", by Kansas playing ;) )

I grew up loving to play Barbies and dolls with my sisters, and getting to be the mommy.  I always thought that I would get married and have 5 children before I turned 30.  Basically I thought I would be a "young" mom, I wanted to be.  After all I grew up with "young" parents, so that's the model I had to work from.

Bought my grandparent's house in the hopes that if you "build it and they will come".  However, husband never materialized.

Then six months or so after buying said home and a conversation with Friend I came across the idea of being a Choice Mom.  I really didn't have to "think" about it, I knew it's what I wanted.  However I've spent forever, or so it seems, in the "planning" phase.  I think it was harder deciding about adopting or having a child biologically when that whole force came upon me.

Then my parents were going to downsize and live with me, that later changed to me moving in with them as they graciously offered (and definitely had the larger space for us all) and I accepted.  Once that was figured and my house sold I moved back in.  Then after I made the decision to go ahead and try to have a bio baby and then down the road adopt my second, I made my consultation appointment.

I had my consultation back on 9/25, so almost eight months ago!  At this appointment, among everything else that happened, I was told that I may need to lose weight to bring down my bmi if I got to the point of needing to use injectibles.  You know "if" it got to that point.  I was told to call on my next CD1 and then make an appt for CD3 to get my CD3 labs (bloodwork) and s0n0 done.

I called up on CD1 and made my appointment for my CD3 bloodwork.  Unfortunately the doc that does the Sonos was out of town and I'd have to wait until my next cycle for that portion of the CD3 work up.  From that blood work I found out that I was CmV negative (which brought me back to the drawing board for donors, as the one I had in #1 position was positive and they won't do that at the clinic, neg woman and pos man), and that my Prolactin level was a bit elevated.

I spent time trying to figure out if I should start in 2012 or 2013.  Little did I know at that time that it really wasn't up to me, because it wasn't going to happen until 2013 at the earliest anyways.

Then in November right before Thanksgiving I saw the female RE, Dr. M, and her nurse and they performed the Sono, and all looked well.  Dr. M told me that she will have me do ovulation stimulation (so something like Clomid, if not actually Clomid).  Then she said that the next step would be me choosing my donor and ordering it through the andrologist.  After that I would be able to set up my Plan of Care appt and get the ball rolling.

With Christmas fast approaching, I decided it would be best financially to wait until January to meet with Andi and purchase my donor material.

I wait until early February to purchase the "material" since I'm thinking that the PoC appointment will be right after said purchase and then I will be on my way to TTC (trying to concieve) via IUI.  And since I was starting a new job in mid-Feb and then leaving to WDW right after that, it would all get pushed back until March.  Though I find out that my PoC appointment isn't until March :(

Then came March 8, just two days after turning 34, and the appointment I wasn't prepared for.  Dr. M told me at this appointment that I need to lose weight before I could even get a real PoC appoinment.  I had to use the weight loss place that she recommended and that I would need to bring my bmi down.  Fine, I'd do what I had to, but I was somewhat angry.  Why wasn't I told this at the consultation, or even when Dr. M saw me at the Sono and told me what the next steps were.  They also took blood again to check my prolactin levels again as well as for diabetes.  She also had me come in the following week to get my bp checked again, she was thinking of putting me on bp medicine.  Nurse M was going to be the one handling the bp check and setting up my next PoC with Dr. M.

But come the following week it was another nurse who did my BP check, which while still elevated I was never called about it or put on any meds.  Nurse M also wasn't there to make my next appt with Dr. M.  So I went to recpetion and set up my next blood test, the following month, to recheck my prolactin levels and one for my next PoC in two months.  In the car I realized on the card it said it was with Dr. R, the male RE.  I didn't care though, let's just get to it and hope I had dropped the twenty pounds (in two months--yipes!)  I did hear back earlier in the week about my prolactin level still being elevated and put on meds to bring it down.  I also got started on "the diet."

Mid-April I go in to get my blood drawn for the prolactin levels and actually can do it sitting up :)  When Nice Nurse calls back I find out that the meds brought my numbers waaaaaay down.  Now I was borderline too low, and told to stop the meds.  When I come in for my PoC they will do another draw and see where the number went.  If it goes back to borderline high, they'll just monitor it.

That brings us to today. . .where I'm freaking out about if I lost enough weight (13 pounds is not exactly 20 pounds :() and trying not to worry too much to give me another high bp reading.  I'm also meeting with someone I've never met and that can be a little bit for me too, worrisome, but not (?)  I so hope I'm not pushed back yet again, and am just trying to remain calm, and hopeful, for the appointment.

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